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Codependency


Are you feeling overwhelmed with concern about a loved one's problems to the point of interfering with your own feelings and responsibilities?

If so you may be involved in a codependent relationship.  This is a relationship where one sacrifices their own wants, needs, hopes and desires for the sake of another individual.  So much so that they actually experience a loss of a sense of self.  This can happen in any friendship, romantic relationship or parent-child relationship.



What causes Codependency and how did this happen to ME?
    

Codependency may be present in any dysfunctional relationship; not only those where alcohol/drugs are present.

There are many  factors to consider and everyone is unique.  
Some common possibilities are:

  • Growing up in a home where children were seen and not heard
  • Growing up in a family where there was some form of abuse or neglect
  • Growing up in a family where one or both parents had alcohol/drug problem and/or mental illness

Your own family of origin concerns and concerns about your loved one are an important part of your recovery.  In addition, the possibility exists your children could continue the cycle of codependence and/or you may find another codependent relationship if you left this one. 



Has your loved one just entered treatment or are they still using or drinking?  Do you think the problem is theirs, not yours? 

Unfortunately, you too have been affected by your loved one's problem and require your own support and assistance.  Without your own help and support, you may continue to have feelings of anger, frustration, betrayal & lack of self-worth. 
Everyone in the family needs help to recover from the long-ranging effects of substance use. Consider getting help for you and your family.   Without the proper treatment, even if you left this relationship, you may find another codependent relationship.


                 "Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, 
                                        even
though the people we love are not ready to change.
                                                       We let them go
                                                                   and let ourselves grow." 

            - The Language of Letting Go


 
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